Concept Restaurants Part 2

(For the rest of our innovative food-service business plans, please see the first Concept Restaurants presentation.)

Escargot Escarmergency: If you can buy plastic bottles of Perrier by the dozen from Costco, life's other fine luxuries ought to catch up, eh? On the way to the yacht, swing through our drive-thru window to pick up a steamin' platter of snails. Visit us soon, and you'll get those little critters in a commemorative-edition Super Bowl XLII escargot dish (also available at participating Exxon locations). It goes without saying that once this bastard's turning a profit, we'll be rolling out the mail-order wing.
If it's your birthday: Enjoy a complimentary appetizer-sized serving of fugu poppers.

853 Woodcrest Terrace: The servers here are hardly servers at all, but nice, hospitable folks sharing the fruits of suburban life on the cusp of retirement. As they bustle about taking care of laundry and calling the kids (all grown up now), they'll occasionally turn to grab you a lemon bar or a beer from the fridge. If you're lucky, one of our hale and hearty "Pop" servers will reach into his special cabinet and share a jolt of that single malt he got for Christmas a couple years back. While the mild-mannered afternoon away with back issues of Reader's Digest, the family's photo albums, and the reassuring hum of the refrigerator (they used to call it "the ice box," you know).
If it's your birthday: It's awkward that you'd come hang with a stranger's parents on your goddamn birthday, but we'll do our best to cheer you up.